Words and Numbers

In the last 10 grim years of my incarceration I have done a lot of things, some by necessity, some by obligation, and others just as survivol tools, but I must confess that I have enjoyed all.

I have been a student, a teacher, a clown, a gardener, an electrician, an orderly, a clerk, a coordinator, a spokesperson, a librarian, a water tester, etc, etc. But there is one thing that I became by necessity and that was becoming a Paralegal, and boy, it has been very hard for me. Since i was a child I 've had a problem with words, on the other hand I am very good with numbers. I learned arithmetic before I learned how to read and write. During my school years I was an A+ student, except in language, it was, and still is, very difficult for me to comprenhend and memorize all those grammar rules. Even though I love to read, to write, and to talk, when It is time to correct a sentence, my mind goes blank. If you give me numbers, equations, calculus, etc., I will resolve the problem even if some of the numbers, are missing, upside-down, or diagonal, but if you give me words or statements to correct, you can rest assured that the result will be worse. It must be some kind of dyslexia problem because I can not get verbs, adjectives, and pronouns in the right order and my spelling is atrocious.

Just imagine how difficult it is for me to understand and read all those legal books and cases. Let alone writing briefs. It is hard for me in Sapnish (my own language) so it is twice as hard in English (my second language). When I decide to file a case in court, I can easily acknowledge a violation, but putting the violation on paper and in legal terms is extremely difficult for me. I presently have a pending case in court against Unicor (prison factories) and the government filed a motion to dismiss the case. When prisoners file a complaint in courts, the government never looks at the complaint, or the violation, they only look at what we do wrong. In the motion to dismiss, the government stated that I did everything wrong, that I cited the wrong statute, the wrong venue, the wrong jurisdiction, and the wrong cases. Everything wrong, wrong, wrong... they said: "plaintiff incorrectly cited and interpretted the judicial holding of..."; "plainitiff's opposition does not overcome the several fatal deficiencies ..." "plaintiff's complaint is devoted to recounting the effects and impact"; Form the beginning I was having difficulties with this case. I knew that the BOP and Unicor's policy that I filed to the court was in violation of the law, but I was not sure which law or constitutional right, so I sought help. A lawyer came to visit me but I got the feeling that the law firm was not going to take the case due to their budget limitations. I was running out of time to file my response, and the more that I read the government's motion, the more confused I got. It got to the point that I felt like I was reading hyroglifics or chinese. I even cried one day.

In the middle of my desperation I called a lawyer that had been very kind to me. He is very smart and held a high position, but he is not versed in civil matters. He once wrote a letter on my behalf and said:" I have been much impressed with Ms. Guanipa's grasp of the law and some of her legal work that I have seen". He always has a kind word to say to me. I said to him:" I am frustrated with this case, I know what's wrong but I do not know how to fix it. I have no choice, I have to file the response. I was hoping to get this lawyer but I have the feeling that I am going to have to do it on my own". His reply was:" I know you are going to do it right, with or without lawyer."

After I hung-up the phone I went to my cubicle, looked at my board on the wall and saw my son's pictures and a note that they mailed to me that said:" mommie you are the most beautiful, loving and smart mom in the entire world". I said to myself:"if they have confidence in me I must have confidence in myself." I fasted and prayed for 2 days asking God to give me the strength and intelligence to respond to the government's motion. I filed the motion Tuesday April 25-06 and I was satisfied with the job. I do not know what the outcome will be. Winning or losing does not matter to me, what does matter is that I raised my voice. Even though I am a prisoner, a layman in matters of the law with a dyslexia problem in languages, I know one thing very well: no one can strip us of our hope, faith, thoughts, soul, dreams and our first amendment right of freedom to speech, even if you were: "sentenced to be tied to a rock" like Tomas from Boxcutter said on her last (very tiny) newsletter. We may or may not overcome, but we do have a voice, and someday, this too will pass. I love you all Yraida (Leo).