"Mantras" in Prison

Those who have practiced or read about Yoga, meditation or Buddhism know about Mantras and how Mantras work; there are some very popular Mantras like: OMMM.., OM NEMA SHIVIA, etc., However inside prison the Mantras are different and there are some popular words that with time become like Mantras. For reasons unknown to me there are some prisoners and some correctional officers that have a very limited vocabulary that every sentence is composed of 2 or 3 M.. F.., son of a B.., F.. you, etc. There are times when all you hear the entire day and night is "M.. F..; M.. F..; M.. F..". I do not say bad words, so when any of my fellow prisoners start screaming the M.. F.. word it truly disturbs me; but the unwritten or prison survival rules do not allow me to tell my fellow prisoner to shut up or advise her to correct her vocabulary, then I have no other choice than to listen the M.. F.. word over, over and over again. One day a few weeks ago I was not feeling well, so after the 4 p.m. count I decided to take a nap ( unusual for me to take a nap at that time because it is dinner time) instead of the nap I fell asleep and I lost track of time, 3 hours later I thought that I was having a bad dream that 2 of my fellow prisoners were fighting, and all I heard was: "you M.. F.., who do you M.. F.. think you are, you know that you are a M.. F.. son of a b..,I am going to M.. F.. kill you, M.. F.., M.. F.. M.. F..." I was confused and half way asleep, I did not know if I was having a dream or if it was real, then half way to being awake stage I was trying to figure out what was happening, so instead of asking: "what's happening", I said "M.. F..". In that moment a friend of mine passed by my cubicle, she heard me and she knows that I do not say bad words, so being worried, she entered my cubicle and asked me: "Guanipa, Guanipa are you Ok"; she thought that I was awake and that I was playing, so she pushed me and said: "Guanipa stop playing". Since I was in like night mare stage I jumped from my bunk and instead of saying: "what's happening' , I screamed very loud: "M.. F.." , she jumped also, got scared and said: "Guanipa what's wrong?" at that moment I was fully awake, feeling ashamed and completely lost. I said to her: "oh, I'm sorry I was having a dream that 2 people were fighting and saying M.. F.. to each other"; she said to me: 'no, you were not dreaming, such and such were fighting and saying M.. F.. to each other", I said : "I'm sorry for saying M.. F.. to you"; she answered: "that's ok, but you do not look good, I am going to make a green tea for you and let you rest", within a few minutes she brought the tea and while I was drinking my tea I was thinking and worried about my sanity. The next day I was telling a friend what had happened to me and she said: "do not worry, it happened to me too, but not with the M.. F.. word but with the Spanish word p..ga. I said to her: "I am gald to hear that, I thought I was losing my mind, I guess those M.. F.. and p..ga words are prison's Mantras"; we both laughed and she said: "prison's Mantras are part of our draconian sentences". So much for a first-time, non-violent offender. I love you all. Yraida (Leo).